{"page":"\u003clink rel=\"stylesheet\" href=\"https://lessonplanet.com/assets/packs/css/resources-572d6a42.css\" /\u003e\n\u003clink rel=\"stylesheet\" href=\"https://lessonplanet.com/assets/packs/css/lp_boclips_stylesheets-f4d0de30.css\" media=\"all\" /\u003e\n\u003cdiv data-title='Saying no is hard. These communication tips make it easy. | Michelle Tillis Lederman' data-url='/boclips/videos/5cf9567449516d367a8e6125' data-video-url='/boclips/videos/5cf9567449516d367a8e6125' id='bo_player_modal'\u003e\n\u003cdiv class='boclips-resource-page modal-dialog panel-container'\u003e\n\u003cdiv class='react-notifications-root'\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv class='rp-header'\u003e\n\u003cdiv class='rp-type'\u003e\n\u003ci aria-hidden='true' class='fai fa-regular fa-circle-play'\u003e\u003c/i\u003e\nVideo\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003ch1 class='rp-title' id='video-title'\u003e\nSaying no is hard. These communication tips make it easy. | Michelle Tillis Lederman\n\u003c/h1\u003e\n\u003cdiv class='rp-actions'\u003e\n\u003cdiv class='mr-1'\u003e\n\u003ca class=\"btn btn-success\" data-posthog-event=\"Signup: LP Signup Activity\" data-posthog-location=\"body_link_boclips\" data-remote=\"true\" href=\"/subscription/new\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan\u003eGet Free Access\u003c/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"\"\u003e for 10 Days\u003c/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e!\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv class='rp-body'\u003e\n\u003cdiv class='rp-info'\u003e\n\u003cdiv aria-label='Hide resource details' class='rp-hide-info' role='button' tabindex='0'\u003e\u0026times;\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003ci aria-label='Expand resource details' class='rp-expand-info fai fa-solid fa-up-right-and-down-left-from-center' role='button' tabindex='0'\u003e\u003c/i\u003e\n\u003ci aria-label='Compress resource details' class='rp-compress-info fai fa-solid fa-down-left-and-up-right-to-center' role='button' tabindex='0'\u003e\u003c/i\u003e\n\u003cdiv class='rp-rating'\u003e\n\u003cspan class='resource-pool'\u003e\n\u003cspan class='pool-label'\u003ePublisher:\u003c/span\u003e\n\u003cspan class='pool-name'\u003e\n\u003cspan class='text'\u003e\u003ca data-publisher-id=\"30355360\" href=\"/search?publisher_ids%5B%5D=30355360\"\u003eBig Think\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/span\u003e\n\u003c/span\u003e\n\u003c/span\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv class='rp-description'\u003e\n\u003cspan class='short-description'\u003e• Give yourself permission to say \"no\" to things. Saying yes to everything is a fast way to burn out. • Learn to say no in a way that keeps the door of opportunity open: No should never be a one-word answer. Say \"No, but I could do this...\u003c/span\u003e\n\u003cspan class='full-description hide'\u003e• Give yourself permission to say \"no\" to things. Saying yes to everything is a fast way to burn out. • Learn to say no in a way that keeps the door of opportunity open: No should never be a one-word answer. Say \"No, but I could do this instead,\" or, \"No, but let me connect you to someone who can help.\" • If you really want to say yes but can't manage another commitment, try qualifiers like \"yes, if,\" or \"yes, after.\" Michelle Tillis Lederman, CSP, CPA, PCC, is a speaker, trainer, and author specializing in workplace communications and relationships. She was named one of Forbes Top 25 Networking Experts. Her new book is The Connector’s Advantage: 7 Mindsets to Grow Your Influence and \u003ca href='https://amzn.to/2YgZhh4).' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'\u003eImpact (\u003c/a\u003e Read more at BigThink.\u003ca href='https://bigthink.com/videos/how-to-say-no' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'\u003ecom\u003c/a\u003e Follow Big Think here: \u003ca href='http://goo.gl/CPTsV5' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'\u003eYouTube\u003c/a\u003e \u003ca href='https://www.facebook.com/BigThinkdotcom' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'\u003eFacebook\u003c/a\u003e \u003ca href='https://twitter.com/bigthink' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'\u003eTwitter\u003c/a\u003e TRANSCRIPT MICHELLE TILLIS LEDERMAN: \"No\" doesn't feel so good. We feel a little uncomfortable. We feel bad saying no. \"No\" to something is \"yes\" to something else. And that's the first thing you need to think about to give yourself permission to say no. My husband actually put a sticky note on my computer for about a year with the word \"no\" on it. And it really did give me permission to say no and to remember that that's allowed. So that's the first thing. Then you want to think about how to say no and how to say yes. Because yes and no are never one-word answers. My favorite on the no side is \"no, but...\" \"No, not right now. No, but I could do this instead. No, but this person might be interested.\" I look to give a no with the opportunity for a yes later. For example, somebody asked me to do a pro bono talk. Happy to do those things if they meet certain criteria. This criteria was driving two hours in rush hour to talk to 30 people. It wasn't going to meet that criteria. And I said, if you can get x number of people in the room, and we can do it during this time of day, then I'm happy to do it. So \"No, but here's how you can get a yes\" is a great way to enable somebody to feel OK and for you to feel OK and not want to avoid that extended relationship. So when we use a \"no, but,\" we give them an opportunity for a \"yes\" down the road. But we also can use the \"no, but\" to help them find another way to get that help. No, but there's this great resource you may want to look into. No, but I do know somebody who's working on that. Let me ask if they might be interested in connecting. No, but. I might not be able to help you. But I'm happy to give you ideas on how you can get the help you're looking for. Sometimes you want to and get to say yes. So we want to sometimes qualify our yes: \"Yes, if...\" Yes, if you can get this done for me. Or yes, if you can get this many people in the room. Or yes, if. It could be \"yes, after.\" Yes, I'd love to get on the phone with you after I'm done with this big project that I'm working on, or after I get back from vacation. Just giving yourself a little breathing room in when and the timing of when that follow through will actually happen. So we have \"yes, if.\" We have \"yes, after.\" We could have \"yes, with.\" Yes, with your assistance. Or yes, with another party. I'm happy to work on that. Yes, with some training. So \"yes, if,\" \"yes, after,\" \"yes, with,\" or even \"yes, when.\" And when could be, when I feel that I'm really ready to do that. Yes, when I have gotten that training that we talked about. \"Yes, when.\" So all of these things help give you a little bit of space and manage the expectations of the follow through of that yes.\u003c/span\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv class='action-container flex justify-between'\u003e\n\u003cbutton aria-expanded='false' aria-label='Read more description' class='rp-full-description' type='button'\u003e\n\u003ci class='fai fa-solid fa-align-left'\u003e\u003c/i\u003e\n\u003cspan id='read_more'\u003eRead More\u003c/span\u003e\n\u003c/button\u003e\n\u003cdiv class='rp-report'\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv aria-labelledby='resource-details-heading' class='rp-info-section'\u003e\n\u003ch2 class='title' id='resource-details-heading'\u003eResource Details\u003c/h2\u003e\n\u003cdiv class='rp-resource-details clearfix'\u003e\n\u003cdiv class='detail'\u003e\n\u003cdl\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eCurator Rating\u003c/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003e\u003cspan class=\"star-rating\" aria-label=\"4.0 out of 5 stars\" role=\"img\"\u003e\u003ci class=\"fa-solid fa-star text-action\" aria-hidden=\"true\"\u003e\u003c/i\u003e\u003ci class=\"fa-solid fa-star text-action\" aria-hidden=\"true\"\u003e\u003c/i\u003e\u003ci class=\"fa-solid fa-star text-action\" aria-hidden=\"true\"\u003e\u003c/i\u003e\u003ci class=\"fa-solid fa-star text-action\" aria-hidden=\"true\"\u003e\u003c/i\u003e\u003ci class=\"fa-regular fa-star text-action\" aria-hidden=\"true\"\u003e\u003c/i\u003e\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/dd\u003e\n\u003c/dl\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv class='detail'\u003e\n\u003cdl\u003e\n\u003cdt class=\"educator-rating-title\"\u003eEducator Rating\u003c/dt\u003e\u003cdd\u003e\u003cdiv class=\"educator-rating-details\" data-path=\"/educator_ratings/rrp_data?resourceable_id=14761\u0026amp;resourceable_type=Boclips%3A%3AVideoMetadata\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"not-yet-rated\"\u003eNot yet Rated\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\u003c/dd\u003e\n\u003c/dl\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv class='detail'\u003e\n\u003cdl\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eGrade\u003c/dt\u003e\u003cdd title=\"Grade\"\u003e6th - 11th\u003c/dd\u003e\n\u003c/dl\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv class='detail'\u003e\n\u003cdl\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eSubjects\u003c/dt\u003e\u003cdd\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003ca href=\"/search?keywords=math+fraction+word+problems\u0026amp;page=16\u0026amp;search_tab_id=1\u0026amp;subject_ids%5B%5D=1216220\"\u003eAll Subjects\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/dd\u003e\n\u003c/dl\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv class='detail'\u003e\n\u003cdl\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eMedia Type\u003c/dt\u003e\u003cdd\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003ca href=\"/search?keywords=math+fraction+word+problems\u0026amp;page=16\u0026amp;search_tab_id=2\u0026amp;type_ids%5B%5D=4543647\"\u003eInstructional Videos\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/dd\u003e\n\u003c/dl\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv class='detail'\u003e\n\u003cdl\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eSource:\u003c/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003e\u003c/dd\u003e\n\u003c/dl\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv class='detail'\u003e\n\u003cdl\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eDate\u003c/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003e2019\u003c/dd\u003e\n\u003c/dl\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv class='detail'\u003e\n\u003cdl\u003e\n\u003ci aria-hidden='true' class='fai fa-solid fa-language'\u003e\u003c/i\u003e\n\n\u003c/dl\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv class='detail'\u003e\n\u003cdl\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eAudiences\u003c/dt\u003e\u003cdd\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003ca href=\"/search?audience_ids%5B%5D=371079\u0026amp;keywords=math+fraction+word+problems\u0026amp;page=16\u0026amp;search_tab_id=1\"\u003eFor Teacher Use\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/dd\u003e\u003cdd class=\"text-muted\"\u003e\u003ci class=\"fa-solid fa-lock mr5\"\u003e\u003c/i\u003e2 more...\u003c/dd\u003e\n\u003c/dl\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv class='detail'\u003e\n\u003cdl\u003e\n\n\u003c/dl\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv aria-labelledby='educator-ratings-heading' class='rp-info-section'\u003e\n\u003ch2 class='title sr-only' id='educator-ratings-heading'\u003eEducator Ratings\u003c/h2\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"educator-ratings-root\"\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\u003cdiv id=\"all-educator-ratings-root\"\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\u003cdiv id=\"educator-rating-form-root\"\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv class='rp-resource'\u003e\n\u003cdiv aria-label='Show resource details' class='rp-show-info' role='button' tabindex='0'\u003e\n\u003ci class='fai fa-solid fa-align-left'\u003e\u003c/i\u003e\nShow resource details\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv aria-label='Video player' class='player' id='player-wrapper' role='region'\u003e\n\u003cdiv class='relative container mx-auto' id='lp-boclips-visitor-thumbnail'\u003e\n\u003ca class=\"block\" data-html=\"true\" data-placement=\"bottom\" data-trigger=\"click\" data-content=\"\u003cdiv class=\u0026quot;text-center py-2\u0026quot;\u003e\u003ca class=\u0026quot;bold\u0026quot; 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